How to Say "I Was Wrong" (And Why It Feels So Damn Good) →

I used to think saying “I was wrong” would make me look weak. That it meant I had failed — failed to know better, do better, be better.

But I don’t believe that anymore.

In this episode of Beauty in the Break, Cesar and I share some of our most honest, raw, and surprisingly liberating stories about admitting fault. We talk about why the phrase “I was wrong” is so hard to say—and why it might also be the key to deeper love, true self-trust, and actual growth.

Whether it’s with your kids, your partner, your coworkers, or yourself — this episode is for anyone learning to soften their grip on being right and step into the radical relief of being real.

If you’ve ever asked yourself:

• Why is it so hard for me to apologize?
• Why do I feel defensive even when I know I messed up?
• How do I repair a relationship after hurting someone?
• How can I stop performing perfection and just be human?

Then you’re not alone. We’ve both been there too.

This episode gets into the ego stuff, the childhood conditioning, and the quiet beliefs many of us carry about rightness = safety. We unpack how that belief plays out in our parenting, our careers, our marriages—and how it actually cuts us off from the intimacy we crave.

In this episode, we share the real-life stories behind what it means to say “I was wrong”—not just in theory, but in the messy, human moments that shape us. Cesar recounts a behind-the-scenes experience where a podcast guest invitation went completely sideways, and how he chose honesty over control in the aftermath. I talk about the tenderness of admitting mistakes to my kids while solo parenting—sometimes crying right alongside them, but always choosing love over perfection.

We explore the shame I internalized as a child from people who never apologized, and how that shaped the way I’ve navigated conflict in adulthood. Cesar shares the impact of hearing the words “I was wrong” from his bonus dad when he was young—and how that single moment became a lifelong model for emotional integrity. And in one especially moving story, a stranger’s tears in Cesar’s arms reveal what’s possible when we stop trying to fix people and simply witness them instead.

We also talk about how gender, culture, and social conditioning affect who feels allowed to admit fault—and who’s been trained to apologize for things they didn’t even do.

This episode is full of softness, honesty, and what it means to build emotional trust through real, un-performative repair.

“I’m not interested in being right. I’m interested in being real.” -- Cesar Cardona

It’s so tempting to dig in and double down—especially when we’re scared, insecure, or trying to protect ourselves. But we’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that apologizing is not the end of your dignity—it’s the beginning of real intimacy.

Saying “I was wrong” is a gift you give your future self. It builds the muscle memory of trust, honesty, and repair. It says: I’m safe to make mistakes. I know how to come back from them.

And that feels so damn good.

How to Say “I Was Wrong” (And Why It Feels So Damn Good)

🎧 Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you love to listen.

Finding Laughter in Life & Death with Jennica Schwartzman

How do we become more ALIVE in this one precious life?

In this episode of Beauty in the Break, we sit down with actress, producer, and stand-up comic Jennica Schwartzman for a raw and deeply moving conversation about grief, losing a parent, and finding aliveness in the aftermath. This episode is a gift for anyone who’s experienced the heartbreak of sudden loss or who is learning how to rebuild identity through creativity, community, and courage.

Jennica's father—a pastor, a curious soul, and a performer in his own right—died suddenly, leaving Jennica and her family in shock. What followed wasn’t just emotional devastation—it was an avalanche of responsibility: paperwork, passwords, banks, wills, emails, and digital trails. As Jennica says, “It was months and months and months of the business of death.”

This episode gets honest about what it really means to lose a parent and step into adulthood in an entirely new way. It's not just about bills or funeral planning—it's about becoming the keeper of legacy, the translator of a life, the adult who stays behind.

“There's so much more radical acceptance and understanding and humility in my love of humanity, having known a second person more intimately than I ever could." – Jennica Schwartzman

After her father’s death, Jennica didn’t set out to reinvent herself. She simply knew she needed to feel alive again. That led her, somewhat surprisingly, to the mic: stand-up comedy became her unexpected form of facing a fear and stepping into her own aliveness. In her late 30s, she began performing not to fulfill a lifelong dream, but to reclaim her own presence.

Grief doesn’t just leave a hole—it creates a shape you’re forced to grow into. In this episode, we reflect on what it means to become "the dad," to hold the family’s emotional weight, and to walk through the world carrying the voice, values, and echoes of someone who shaped you.

Through it all, Jennica teaches us how grief and creativity aren’t opposites—they’re often part of the same wild, sacred process.

If you're navigating your own grief journey, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers something rare: a candid look at the business of death, the strange gifts of post-loss identity, and the unexpected ways we laugh, break, and come alive again.

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or any other podcast platform.

With Love,

Foster

Hustle Culture Sucks (And Other Things We’re Finally Saying Out Loud)

I used to think my worth was tied to how much I could do. How much I could output. How many things I could check off a list while smiling through the ache.

I don’t believe that anymore.

In this episode of Beauty in the Break, Cesar and I go off-script (again) in our recurring series Say More! We draw from a deck of unexpected questions—and what follows is part confessional, part comedy, part healing release. We talk about why hustle culture nearly broke us, the weird jobs we survived, and how we’re learning to live a different way.

We’ve Been Sold a Lie About Productivity

If you’ve ever wondered:

• how do I stop burning out?
• is this all there is?
• why am I always exhausted and behind?
• will I ever get to the top of this mountain?
• how do I quit the grind?

—then you’re not alone. I’ve been there too.

I thought that if I just kept pushing, kept producing, I’d earn rest. I didn’t know that rest was something I had to claim, not chase.

In this episode, we share the new belief we both share about hustle culture. We reflect on what replaced hustle for us: creativity, connection, and actually listening to our bodies (instead of steamrolling them).

This episode is also full of humor and ridiculous stories, like:

• The ice cream scooping job that broke my triceps (and my spirit)
• The pit bull who literally saved a man’s life
• What Cesar would do if he were a woman for a day (spoiler: it’s wild)
• What it means to find a partner who helps you become more you

Through it all, we talk about the transformation that happens when you stop performing and start telling the truth.

If you're burned out, here’s what I want you to know: Burnout isn’t a failure. Being tired doesn’t mean you’re lazy. And choosing rest isn’t weakness—it’s rebellion.

You don’t have to hustle your way to worthiness. You can stop. You can heal. And if you’re craving a space where it’s safe to laugh and be honest about what’s actually going on behind the scenes… this episode might just be your new favorite.

🎧 Listen now: Say More! Vol 2: Hustle Culture Sucks & Other Dangerously Fun Confessionals

The Eating Habits We Never Chose: Healing Our Relationship with Food

For over 20 years, I thought I was just bad at eating.

I thought I was disciplined. I thought I was “being healthy.”

I thought my constant thoughts about food were just a sign that I cared about my wellness.

But the truth is—I had an eating disorder. And I didn’t even know it.

In Episode 7 of Beauty in the Break, my partner Cesar and I sit down to share our very different—but deeply connected—experiences with eating, shame, survival, and ultimately, healing. This episode is for anyone who has ever felt broken around food. Anyone who’s ever heard a punishing voice in their head about what or when to eat. Anyone who’s lived with hunger—whether emotional, physical, or both.

I Never Got Eating Right—Not One Day in 22 Years

For 22 years, I was secretly obsessed with food. I thought about it constantly—what I was eating, what I should be eating, what I’d eaten yesterday, how to “fix” it tomorrow. I lived with what I now call the drill sergeant in my mind—an internal voice that tracked my every bite, praised my hunger, and punished my fullness.

I wasn’t starving myself in the traditional sense. I ate “healthy.” I avoided sugar. I followed the rules. But my relationship with food was toxic, and it took me decades to realize that what I was dealing with was more than just “being hard on myself.”

It was disordered.

And finally naming it changed everything.

Cesar’s Story: From Childhood Hunger to Food Freedom

Cesar grew up with a different kind of food trauma—literal hunger. At just five years old, he was sometimes left alone overnight, often with little or no food in the pantry. Hunger became his baseline. Food, when it showed up, was survival. And as an adult, when he finally had agency, he gave his inner child everything he’d been denied—cheesecake, pizza, cookies, whatever his soul craved.

And then… one day, that inner child said, “We’re good now.”

No forcing. No plan. Just healing in its own time.

His story reminded me: there are so many ways we learn to disconnect from our bodies. Whether through restriction or indulgence, shame or scarcity, we all have food stories that live in our nervous systems—and those stories deserve our attention, our compassion, and our rewriting.

What We Learned About Healing

In our episode, we talk openly about the lies we believed, the voices that haunted us, and how we began the slow (and ongoing) process of unlearning. For me, that meant discovering intuitive eating and learning to actually listen to my body for the first time in my adult life.

I had to unlearn the belief that hunger was good.

I had to reject the voice that said thinness was worth suffering for.

And I had to mourn the years I lost chasing someone else’s idea of health.

If You’re Wondering “How can I eat normally?”… This is for You

You might be here because you are wondering:

• Do I have disordered eating?

• Why do I feel guilty after eating?

• How do I heal my relationship with food?

• What is intuitive eating?

• Why can’t I stop thinking about food?

Friend, if you see yourself in any of this, please listen to the episode. Not because we have all the answers—but because we know what it’s like to feel alone in this. And we believe there’s freedom on the other side.

You are not broken.

You don’t have to earn your food.

You can trust yourself again.

Listen to the Episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or any other podcast platform.

Beauty in the Break, Ep. 7: The Eating Habits We Never Chose — Healing Our Relationship with Food

In this raw and reflective conversation, we talk about:

• My eating disorder diagnosis and why it was actually a relief

• The impact of childhood hunger on Cesar’s adult eating habits

• The voice of diet culture—and how to recognize it in your own head

• Learning to eat intuitively (and why it’s harder than it sounds)

• How I used Intermittent Fasting to feed my eating disorder

• And how to move forward—even if you’re still on the treadmill of shame

This episode is a love letter to anyone who’s ready to step off that treadmill. You are allowed to eat. You are allowed to feel peace. You are allowed to come home.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Looking for Resources?

We mention the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch, which was foundational in my recovery. You can find it here.

If this spoke to you, I’d be honored if you’d:

• Leave a comment or send a voice note

• Share the episode with someone who needs it

• Sign up for my newsletter or join my upcoming community space (more soon!)

You are worthy. You are whole. And your healing is yours.

With love,

Foster

Listen to the Episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or any other podcast platform.

what if the goal is not happiness?

what if the goal is not happiness?

what if the goal is to own our humanity in each and every moment?

to own the brokenness, the bittersweet, the impossible choices. the humanity of making a decision, and in both cases, you will hurt someone. in both cases you will hurt yourself.

what if the goal is to live and breathe and feel the impossibility of life and love and recognize its beauty while it’s happening?

tragedy is here. devastation is here. pain is here. death is here. and so are miracles and healing and growth and creation and love. and so is the ordinary, the mundane, the lackluster and grey.

to deny one is to deny yourself the full spectrum of human existence.

the very least we can do here is not to deny any part of this experience, not to numb our humanity or to dull it for the sake of not feeling.

because feeling is our birthright.